The Sin of not Tithing
Money and sex are two of the most powerful entities humans contend with. They are the top subjects couples fight over and are equally the top subjects for which religion asserts control.
Religion lurks as a voyeur in the corner of your bedroom to ensure you don’t have unwed sex, you don’t masturbate, you don’t watch porn, you don’t use birth control, you don’t resist your husband, and you don’t do it with people of your own gender.
Eew.
Religion also wants access to your bank account so it can skim 10 percent off the top of your salary, known as the tithe, in addition to supplementary offerings.
Yep, I understand the church has to pay for a building, operations, and the salaries of leaders.
What I call in to question is the lack of transparency, dishonesty, manipulation, and misusage of church finances that happen in organized religion a lot more than people realize.
In my small church, there was one family in the congregation who were considered well-off and the rest didn’t live spectacularly high above the poverty line, with a handful of them dipping below it, myself included.
Imagine a church full of families who on average, had three or more children (God in the bedroom to assure your quiver full), a mom without gainful employment, and a dad who supported his crew on a single unremarkable salary.
Before a family put money away to save for college (education not encouraged) or thought about how fun it would be to go to Disneyland or save for a sitter and a date night, a prerequisite 10 percent came off the top and paid for the church building and pastor’s salary.
It sounds innocent enough, but what did that look like in my church? It looked like my pastor having a boat, a nice house, golf and hunting hobbies, leases on regularly replaced cars, and trips to Hawaii, oftentimes meeting up with their pastor friends from our fellowship of churches.
Unable to afford any kind of travel, many congregants drove unreliable cars, put off home remodels for growing families, and sometimes simply struggled to put food on their tables.
Why would people choose this kind of financial irresponsibility, neglecting their own lives to boost the prosperity of church leaders?
Like all forms of control we give to religion, it is birthed from guilt, shame, and manipulation.
First, I’ll address the spectacular manipulation that takes place during a church service.
Church offerings, in general, are orchestrated during or on the tail of a worship service. I’ve mentioned in other blog posts that in my particular church, we were cool, edgy, and “culturally relevant.” Therefore, worship services drenched us in all the good feelings and powerful emotions of a U2 concert.
That is the perfect time to ask for money. When a group of people are hypnotized into feel-good transcendence that makes them optimistic, they trust Jesus with all their heart and believe that he won’t let anything bad happen to them. The Holy Spirit will tell somebody to donate their entire inheritance from their recently passed parents. Maybe they made a little extra money that month, sold something precious, got a bonus, or had been saving for a family trip, but God laid it on their heart in that moment to give it all away, so they do.
Saving money is difficult enough for most of us. Imagine penalizing yourself with 10 percent of your salary. Like playing a sports match where penalized players had to sit out, so you had to manage the game with less. I went to counseling sessions on budgeting. The church had people specially trained to give financial advice. Of which the first line item was always 10 percent, and more if you were truly holy and trusted the Lord.
The times I couldn’t manage to squeeze out the tithe, I had to persuade myself I was being financially responsible to overcome the shame of not trusting God to take care of me. To this day, I’d rather poke my eyes out than adhere to a budget. A lot of people don’t like it, but for me, it will always harken to my church trying to manage my finances. I find other ways to trick myself into thinking I’m not budgeting.
I had a conversation with a friend who raised her family in our fellowship of churches. I’ll call her Jocelyn. Sadly, her story is not unique, but that doesn’t make it any less upsetting. Fasten your seatbelts, and lest you think this is a crazy one-off story, let me remind you of two things one more time:
Financial extortion by churches and church leadership is nothing new. It still happens.
People give in to this due to the extraordinary guilt and pressure or group euphoria they feel when they strive to live inside the will of God.
Jocelyn attended what was booming into a mega-church. The pastors were on an aggressive ministry expansion track, requiring a new building. They found a property but there was just one obstacle; no funds to purchase the building. To solve this problem, one of the pastors thumbed through Scripture to match a message to their plan to exhort the congregation for financial backing. The perfect scripture for acquiring a large sum of money was found in the Biblical principle of the First Fruits offering.
In Exodus 23:19 the Bible talks about an offering that is different from the tithe. It is called the First Fruits offering, where people brought in the very best of their harvest or fruits and gave it to God. In so doing, a person exhibits their dependence on God, trusting his provision for the following year.
The call for the First Fruits compellingly coincided with the start of a new year, and congregants were asked to donate their entire paychecks for January, setting them up for God’s abundance and blessing for the following year.
Jocelyn’s family and many others obeyed the First Fruits directive and donated their entire month’s wage.
Eventually, however, the purchase of the building proved too expensive and the project fell through. By God’s hand, a new building was found to replace it, but more finances were required to purchase it.
Leadership devised a new scheme and looked into everyone’s tithing records.
They held a special church meeting to launch the new tithing decree, but first removed any new visitors to the church that day. After the new people left, the ushers blocked the doors to discourage regular members from leaving. The pastors proceeded to call out the congregation about people who had missed tithes or were not paying from their gross pay. Church members received envelopes with the amount of money they owed and were expected to make back payments.
Anyone in a position of leadership and not current with their tithe account were removed from their position until they paid up. It was made clear that they would stand in God’s judgment until all accounts were settled.
In the same year, a third payment tier was added and the church asked for monthly pledges on average of 100 dollars a month, for which the congregation received constant reminders to remain faithful.
The entire year proved burdensome for congregants and Jocelyn’s family in particular. After giving a month’s wage to the church, her family suffered financially, having difficulty recovering from their loss of finances. To make matters worse, her husband found himself unemployed and had to collect cans to buy milk as they were having trouble feeding their kids. Meanwhile, the church fully expected Jocelyn’s family to continue with their monthly tithe and supplementary 100 dollar payments, even though her family could barely stay fed and clothed.
Somewhere in the midst of plying his congregants for increased funds, the pastor was still unhappy with the church’s inability to garner the necessary finances, which put him under stress, resulting in a personal health crisis.
The pastor placed blame for his bad health on his congregation and addressed them from the pulpit to explain that his recent episode was directly linked to those who were and were not monetarily supporting God’s vision. He praised the “strong” portion of the congregation who were fully supporting him with their money. But the “weak” portion of the congregation who were falling short with their finances had stabbed him in the heart, causing him a physical health crisis.
It sounds grotesque and unbelievable, but the amount of financial deception and manipulation that my group of churches practiced was experienced by hundreds of people. All of it in the name of advancing the kingdom of God.
No other business is supposed to get away with the financial practices of many churches. My small church even pretended to be transparent by having special meetings to show the congregation the books. The books that were manipulated by our pastor and the blind eye church members turned when our pastor had money for things that his congregants did not.
Beyond blatant dishonesty by some, if we take a look at how a church manages its finances, it is clear that a church raises money to support itself and its interests. That is how most businesses run as well. But the idea that a church is a charitable organization for social good is a farce.
How much of a church’s budget goes toward no-strings-attached charitable acts? There are fancy buildings, huge youth programs, and outreach departments to pay for. Retreats, camps, and mission trips to convert people to their religion, but it’s fair to call in to question the money that is put out for the good of the “four corners of the earth.” Gospel for the Gospel’s sake is the church’s financial priority.
When was the last time a church funded clean drinking water, helped immigrants, or fed and housed homeless people without the ulterior motive of evangelism, conversion, or exercising dominion? True community outreach for the sake of helping and not converting and dominating? Generally, church monies are earmarked for only that which benefits the church itself. Do a Google search and you’ll find that church budget templates allocate funds to the pastors, the building, the youth ministry, adult education, and missions. Missions that are foremost about evangelism.
It is the church's prerogative to fund its interests, but a true charitable organization, it is not.
There are charitable organizations that have a real-world impact on helping people, animals, or the planet, and they do their job well. The church is not the entity that will funnel its money outward for the pure motive of benefiting others without a return benefit to itself.
If you have sinned, slide forward.
If you are someone who can and wants to give charitably, why not consider giving to organizations who have an established track record of bringing practical improvement to impoverished peoples, or benefit an animal shelter, or help clean the ocean, or whatever cause is dear to your heart. The feeling a person gets from giving is quite powerful, and yes, euphoric. And that’s great! As long as no one has manipulated you through group hypnosis or guilt.
I’m so glad to not stress over having to give 10 percent of my salary for fear of my leaders knowing, and for being in sin before God. I can be financially responsible by planning for my future, supporting my family, and when my bank account allows, give my money to a crowdfunding campaign that creates sustainable solutions for feminine products and donates part of their funds toward supplying those products to women in an African country. Pick your cause, they are not hard to find. Your money might not help the youth group have the latest tech for their rock concerts, but it could help the women’s half-way house in your town.
Financial freedom doesn’t only imply having an emergency fund or passive income streams. It also means having the freedom to manage your money in ways that you deem responsible, and not how your church is mandating you spend it. Controlling your own finances will truly allow you to freely give, and give with joy.
